It all begins with respect

As my Molokai date approaches, I feel like I've transitioned from "study-mode" to "all-out-CRAM-mode!" I am working my butt off to get things ready so that I can leave with what I need. My mele project that I've been working on is really coming along... And I should feel a great sense of accomplishment. I should feel that way... but I feel like I'm never going to have enough of it done before I go. I want to make Pops proud when he sees it.

Tonight I was working on doing some translations. I'm thrilled to have the "new process" in places, but it's time consuming. I am taking the songs, word-by-word, and translating. And not just in the context of the song. I'm using the Hawaiian dictionary, internet resources, liner notes, reference books, maps--pretty much anything I can get my hands on to make sense of it all. Instead of a singing from a place of "well, I kind of know what this phrase means," I want to sing from a place of KNOWING. And to do that takes time.

I found myself tempted to take short cuts. To write quick synonyms for the words that I thought I was familiar with. How sad to cheat myself of this experience! While I'm really happy that things are making more and more sense as I go along, I want to really do this RIGHT. I want to give these mele the respect they deserve. I want to give the language the respect it deserves. I want to give Pops the respect he deserves. And lastly, I want to respect myself--to really give myself over to this process. To take as much time as it needs to do it and do it right.

I found myself repeating the words "Honor the process" and "It all begins with respect" while I worked--especially when it felt like I was moving through glue. From my studies, I've learned that the cornerstone in Hawaiian culture is RESPECT. If you really honor the process, you are respecting those that came before you and you are respecting YOURSELF.

Mele studies get deeper and deeper every day. Feeling blessed to be on this wild journey.

Happy Aloha Friday!

Going even deeper...

Today I got down the "nittty gritty" and started looking at the songs that have been somewhat difficult for me. I can't really explain it... there are some songs that are INSTANTLY appealing and then there are others that are, well, more of a challenge. Sometimes, those songs NEVER become part of my repertoire because they don't appeal to me. And other times, those are the songs I love most of all.

Thankfully, because of the nature of this mele project, I'm committed to looking at ALL of the songs in this cycle. Even the ones that, at first glance, leave me uninspired. I mention "thankfully" because as I went deeper into the songs that have been a challenge, they came to life. Sang to me. Some of them will absolutely become part of my favorites... Others, well, the verdict is still out on some of 'em!

I'm so glad that I took the time to examine them today. To really give myself over to the process and look at things that don't grab me right away. How sad to have missed something just because it's first impression wasn't totally favorable.

I can't help but think of all of the "first impressions" that I've made in my life. How many of those were less-than-spectacular? And I can't help but be grateful that sometimes, even though I may not have shown myself in a great light initially, someone gave me a second chance.

Mele study is getting DEEP!!! Right on!

Playing for the Hula classes

Tonight I was blessed to play for the dancers of Nā Lehua Melemele--a hula hui based here in NYC. Iʻm also blessed to play for Kumu Hula June Tanoue when she holds classes in the city. Itʻs an honor to play for dancers. Each and every time.

Singing the mele in my apartment is fine. Itʻs a way to study the piece, research it, "find it" in my voice. Performing the piece in public is great... A way to share what Iʻve learned with others. A way to "spread the Aloha." But there is something so incredibly special about playing for a dancer or group of dancers. Working in harmony with another person (or group) as we share the message in the mele. We tell the story. We help to perpetuate a piece of Hawaiian history. Itʻs an honor and blessing.

Every time.

9 days until Molokai

Ah! Can't believe the date is approaching so quickly! You know, I fantasize about being back on island all year: what I'd like to bring for the 'ohana, what mele I hope to be able to work on with Pops, places I hope to be able to see, etc. And then as the trip approaches, I lose my mind. Can't think of anything that I'd been planning. I've got lots of music to sing, but are these the "right" ones to be singing at this point?

If I start thinking about these things when lay down to sleep at night, I'll toss and turn for hours. Working things out--over and over and over.

I think I stress because being there is so special. Sacred time for me. And I want to be prepared for everything. I don't want to be there and find myself saying "If only I had done...."

But the coolest part about being there is that it IS sacred time. And things are good there--just as they are.

"Up to my eyeballs..."

E kala mai! Sorry for the lack of postings!

I've been up to my eyeballs with mele studies. It's been heaven spending ENTIRE days studying language and music. Heaven. Bliss. What I've always dreamed of doing.

For a year, I've been on a quest trying to figure out "my way" of learning songs and language. It's been tough. Lots of trial & error. In April, a friend of mine, an 'olapa, showed me the way she worked on learning the mele that she uses for hula. It was so simple--like doing a vocabulary list in middle school or high school English classes. My original thought: that's cool, but it's too similar to a method that I HATED when I was in school. There's got to be something better...

But...

On Monday, I found myself struggling with a project that I'm working on. I couldn't seem to get started. I was feeling completely overwhelmed. And then I thought of Anne Lamott's BIRD BY BIRD and how I needed to stop. And breathe. And take one song at a time. One word at a time.

And...

It was amazing! Not only did I learn the lyrics, but the song CAME TO LIFE! It's been so fantastic! And so addicting! I've started learning a lot more songs now that they are truly "singing" for me. Not a great thing for my OCD, but I've been blissed out. What a nice change from feeling overwhelmed and "stuck" for so long.

So that's where I am this Wednesday morning. Still in CRAM mode. But loving it instead of dreading it. And that's pretty great.

Happy Wednesday!